Posted by: Anne Tergesen in Bloomberg Businessweek (www.businessweek.com).
A must read article for working parents.

“Working parents know how hard it can be to manage the all-important relationship with the person who serves as their substitute from 9 to 5. Lucy Kaylin, the executive editor of Marie Claire magazine, recently wrote a book on the topic called “The Perfect Stranger: The Truth About Mothers and Nannies” (Bloomsbury USA: $23.95). As the review from “Publishers Weekly” puts it, the book addresses “the ambivalent relationship between mother and nanny, fraught with vacillating emotions of fear, mistrust, love, dependence and subtle struggles for power that rival those in any workplace.” Kaylin, a mother of two and a Manhattan resident, spoke to me about the parent-nanny relationship.

Q: What prompted you to write this book?

A: As a journalist, you’re always looking at where the stories are, where interesting, relevant tensions are in society and culture. I realized one of the best stories was playing out in my own living room. The notion of bringing a complete stranger into your house to help raise your children – it’s just fraught. It’s interesting, complicated, and potentially a great thing — but it’s really fraught. As I talked to friends about it and read about it, I realized it’s a huge issue for women everywhere. It’s not something that just rich people do. Increasingly, it’s a middle class option. Given how many of us are two-career families, given how crazy our hours are and how thinly we’re stretching ourselves, day care doesn’t provide enough coverage.

Q: What advice do you have for parents looking to hire a nanny?

A: The first piece of advice I would have — and this isn’t always easily achieved — is that you have to own your choices. One thing that can create a big problem is when women are in denial or deeply conflicted about the fact that they are leaving their children with someone else. You can get passive-aggressive with a nanny or be resentful of her for reasons that have nothing to do with the kind of job she’s doing but instead result from the fact that you’re not settled in yourself with the choices you’ve made. Women have to get past the fear, the guilt, and the ambivalence and make this as wholehearted of a decision as it can be. Be honest: Do you want someone who is going to be your proxy or who has qualities you don’t have? It’s a hard thing to admit to yourself. A lot of us who are working women may not have been steeped in the motherly arts the way we would have been thirty, forty years ago — with sisters and aunts teaching us about how to care for babies. We don’t live up the street from our mothers anymore. Women do well to admit that what they need is someone who is going to teach them. That gets tricky: The student is the boss and the teacher is the employee. This woman you bring into your home who often comes from a very different place than you do might know a lot more on some level about your child than you do.

Q: One of the biggest worries parents have is “what goes on when I’m not there?” How can you get some level of comfort with the care your child is receiving, short of using a “nanny cam”?

A: You have to do your due diligence — check references and spend a few days, if not more, at home going through the daily routine with the nanny and making the rounds with her. See how she does things; Make sure you’re comfortable with how she handles the minutia of the day. If you go through an agency, it can be helpful in screening out people. One of the hardest things is the conflict (mothers feel about leaving their children), and the guilt that can keep them from trusting their guts and from making a choice a person with good gut is able to make. If you’re unsettled in the choices you make, you will end up second-guessing yourself. Paranoia can settle in.

As for the nanny cam: The reality is that if you turn a camera on anyone — on a mother or anyone else — for ten hours, you’re going to see some things you don’t like. That incredibly jolly person you see when you come home — well, it’s unlikely she’s been able to keep up that level of attentiveness for ten hours. If you film this woman, you will be able to find something that makes you uncomfortable. But very possibly child protective services could find something they don’t like if they turned a camera on you for a ten hour stretch. It’s the nature of this very hard job. If you can make a carefully vetted and wholehearted choice, (you’ll have a better chance of having the relationship work out). You have to let this women do her job and have some faith in her. There are checks and balances you can rely on to make sure things down the line are as good as they seem. You can show up unannounced. You’ll also have a good sense if your child is feeling settled and happy and loving towards this person. If you need to do the nanny cam, then do it. I’m all about a mom doing what she needs to do to feel comfortable. That said, we hold our nannies to wildly high standards of perfection — in fact, to higher standards than we hold ourselves. Sometimes, we have to ask ourselves if we’re being reasonable.

Q: You write that it’s important not to fall into the common trap of thinking of and treating a nanny like a member of the family. Why?

A: There is a tremendous amount of love being shared between families and nannies. That’s nothing but good and it’s real. This is a very intimate arrangement and it would be strange if feelings weren’t developed between all parties involved. I’m all for that. I would never suggest that we should all be incredibly business-like in our dealings with one another. I do think we have to be business-like in the fundamentals of the job, though. You have to be clear about what you expect. We all know you can abuse family terribly. They aren’t going to turn their backs on you. But this woman is here because she needs to make a wage. She probably has far more difficult circumstances that have driven her to this relationship than you do. The minute you disregard that or think that her love of your children is motivating her to do the job, you are making a mistake. It’s important show respect for boundaries and for how difficult the job is. Whenever I make it very clear that I am in no way going to push our nanny beyond what we’ve agreed is her job, I’ve gotten it back in spades. For example, sometimes she picks up things she knows we need on her own initiative. I would never think to ask her to pick up something that did not have to do with the children. I am always observant of the lines that should not be crossed. It breeds great generosity in her. It’s just the same in an office environment. We will go to extra lengths for a boss we respect and like. Even though there’s no end of sweetness that goes on between all of us, the bottom-line is that we’ve hired her to do a job, her time is precious, and she gets exhausted by this tough job. I will never make the mistake of thinking she’s with us for the fun of it. I get that.

Q: You’ve said that “We in the western world are outsourcing addicts, and we are outsourcing a lot of parenting these days.” Are you concerned about this trend? What are the positives and negatives for the children of having a nanny?

A: I feel like it’s a slippery slope. Anyone of us with a career knows how you can get eaten up by it. It can be tempting to hang out and schmooze with colleagues when you know the nanny is there to make sure bath time and dinner and homework and all the other stuff that’s quintessentially a parent’s job happens. You can easily find yourself outsourcing all the essential stuff of parenting if you’re not careful. You don’t want to be that person who swans in and touches base and then swans out wishing everyone good luck as you’re off to something more intellectually stimulating and remunerative. So much of parenting is just showing up. It’s the face time with kids, it’s being there with them, that are important. You as a parent stand to lose incalculably if you let that slip away.

But as much as I love parents, they are nutty. They are really very wound up about their kids: Are they doing well in school? What’s going to become of them? Did they learn their ABCs fast enough? Are they on track to the Ivy League? I dare say that 90% of a parent’s interaction with a child comes with baggage. They can see it on your face if you’re worried, if you wish they had done something else or hugged you tighter or did better on a test. Parents supply pressure on a child to perform. I suspect they get almost none of that from their nannies. The nanny is there to make sure they are well fed, clean, safe, and have a nice afternoon. I’ve seen that dynamic play out in the city countless times. You see it on the crosstown bus — a very sullen eleven-year-old with her mother, who is questioning her. There’s contempt on the daughter’s face. But when you see these children strolling around with the women taking care of them, they’re chatting and laughing. It’s a different dynamic. Which isn’t to say kids don’t have fun with their parents. But it’s a qualitatively different type of interaction.”

                          

Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store. If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.

Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil. It will stay fresh much longer and not mold!

Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating. Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.

Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef. It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking. To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a couple of spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream in and then beat them up. For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed. Melt Andes mints in double broiler and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a wonderful minty frosting.

Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste Of garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic.

Leftovers from Halloween

Leftover snickers bars from Halloween make a delicious dessert. Simply chop them up with the food chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples. Place them in a baking dish and sprinkle the chopped candy bars over the apples. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes!!! Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream. Yummy!

Reheat Pizza

Heat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.

Easy Deviled Eggs

Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.

Expanding Frosting

When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving.

Reheating refrigerated bread

To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.

Broken Glass

Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you can’t see easily.

No More Mosquitoes

Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away.

Squirrel Away!

To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn’t hurt the plant and the squirrels won’t come near it.

Reducing Static Cling

Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and …  Static is gone.

Measuring Cups

Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don’t dry cup. Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.

Foggy Windshield?

Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car. When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!

Reopening envelopes

If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals easily.

Conditioner

Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It’s cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It’s also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn’t like when you tried it in your hair.

Goodbye Fruit Flies

To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass, fill it 1/2′ with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dish washing liquid; mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!

Get Rid of Ants

Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it ‘home,’ can’t digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works and you don’t have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!

INFO ABOUT CLOTHES DRYERS

The heating unit went out on my dryer! The gentleman that fixes things around the house for us told us that he wanted to show us something and he went over to the dryer and pulled out the lint filter. It was clean. (I always clean the lint from the filter after every load clothes.) He told us that he wanted to show us something; he took the filter over to the sink and ran hot water over it. The lint filter is made of a mesh material .. I’m sure you know what your dryer’s lint filter looks like. Well …. the hot water just sat on top of the mesh! It didn’t go through it at all! He told us that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh that’s what burns out the heating unit. You can’t SEE the film, but it’s there. It’s what is in the dryer sheets to make your clothes soft and static free … that nice fragrance too. You know how they can feel waxy when you take them out of the box … well this stuff builds up on your clothes and on your lint screen. This is also what causes dryer units to potentially burn your house down with it! He said the best way to keep your dryer working for a very longtime (and to keep your electric bill lower) is to take that filter out and wash it with hot soapy water and an old toothbrush (or other brush) at least every six months. He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long! How about that!?! Learn something new everyday! I certainly didn’t know dryer sheets would do that. So, I thought I’d share!

                          

Mother’s day is a wonderful time for each of us to take a moment and celebrate Mom.

On this special day tell your mom (again and again) how much you love her, make a poem, write a letter, take mom out to her favorite restaurant, buy flowers, give her a day off (let her relax while the rest of the family does the work), etc.

Touch your mothers heart by writing these sentimental quotes in Mother’s Day cards, letters or gift wraps.

• “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.” — Diana, Princess of Wales

• “By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class.” — Anne Morrow Lindbergh

• “A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.” — Dorothy Canfield Fisher

• “Never marry a man who hates his mother, because he’ll end up hating you.” — Jill Bennett

• “It is not until you become a mother than your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.” — Erma Bombeck

• “Becoming a mother makes you the mother of all children. From now on each wounded, abandoned, frightened child is yours. You live in the suffering mothers of every race and creed and weep with them. You long to comfort all who are desolate.” – Charlotte Gray

• “At work, you think of the children you have left at home.At home, you think of the work you’ve left unfinished. Such a struggle is unleashed within yourself. Your heart is rent.” — Golda Meir

• “All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.” — Oscar Wilde

• “There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.” – Chinese Proverb

Mothers Day Poem
M – O – T – H – E – R
“M” is for the million things she gave me,
“O” means only that she’s growing old,
“T” is for the tears she shed to save me,
“H” is for her heart of purest gold;
“E” is for her eyes, with love-light shining,
“R” means right, and right she’ll always be,
Put them all together, they spell
“MOTHER,”
A word that means the world to me.

Howard Johnson (c. 1915)

HAVE A HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

                          

The letter of Agreement Nanny-Employer states the terms you negotiate with your caregiver.

In this letter you may want to pinpoint the terms that suit your family and the nanny that you want to hire.

This Agreement is entered into as of _______ between ___________(hereinafter known as Family), and_______  (hereinafter referred to as Nanny) shall be in force for one year from the date of signature of both parties. Family and Nanny hereby agree to a one-year employment commitment unless Nanny is terminated for cause. Both parties agree to give at lease two (2) weeks notice before job termination unless Nanny is terminated for cause.

Do you have more questions? Visit our Forum: CAREGIVERS in CANADA.

Family and Nanny agree to the following conditions of employment:

1. Employment.
Employment will begin on ________ and is considered “at will”. Nanny is to provide childcare services and other duties as set forth below.

2. Work Schedule.
Nanny will provide childcare from ___ A.M. to ___ P.M., from Monday through Friday. During these hours, Nanny shall devote (his/her) entire time, attention and energies to providing care and performing other duties as listed below.
3. Compensation.
Family shall pay Nanny and Nanny hereby accepts in full payment for services:

• An (hourly rate of  _____) (monthly salary of  _____) which shall be paid (weekly/bimonthly/monthly) on the _____ day(s) of (week/month).
• Overtime compensation (specify).
• Performance-based increase after  (6 months/one year).

4. Probationary Period.
Family and Nanny agree that there shall be a probationary period of ___ days. During this period either party can terminate this Agreement by giving ___ days notice.

5. Termination.
The following are grounds for immediate termination with cause:

• Allowing the children’s safety to be compromised
• Inconsistent or non performance of agreed upon job responsibilities
• Dishonesty or lying to Family
• Stealing
• Breach of confidentiality clause
• Unapproved guests
• Smoking or consumption of alcohol while on duty
• Illegal drug use

Nanny’s employment under this Agreement may be terminated upon one of more of the following:

• By Family or Nanny for due cause upon 24 hours notice. “Due cause” is defined as breach of a material term of this Agreement.
• By Family without cause upon  ___ weeks notice, or in lieu of ___ weeks notice, ___ weeks salary.
• By Nanny upon ___ weeks notice.
• By Nanny’s total disability or partial disability which renders Nanny unable to perform services for more than ___ weeks.

6. Childcare responsibilities.
(Choose the ones that suit you and the Nanny you hire).

Nanny agrees to:

• Put the absolute safety of the children first before all other responsibilities
• Provide care, warmth, and security in the absence of parents.
• Plan activities that promote physical, emotional, intellectual, and social development
• Maintain a patient, cheerful, and helpful attitude while on duty.
• Actively participate in the children’s special problems and interests and serve as a resource for problem solving.
• Tend to children’s basic needs such as bathing, dressing, changing diapers, brushing teeth, and afternoon naps.
• Administer medicine to children as directed by Family.
• Plan and prepare nutritious snacks and meals for children during scheduled hours; clean up kitchen and dining table when completed.
• Participate and supervise activities with children, which would include: games, walks, play dates, playground outings and reading to children daily.
• Limit television/video and computer games to ___ minutes per day.
• Comply with Family’s discipline and child-rearing preferences.
• Provide reasonable flexibility in times of emergency or unexpected schedule changes.
• Keep the children’s bedrooms and play area clean and organized; which includes making the beds, vacuuming carpet, cleaning and disinfecting toys, etc.
• Clean children’s laundry (clothes and bed linens).
• Use Family automobile to drive children to activities and events.
• Meal preparation for Family.
• Feed and care for Family pets-daily.
• Grocery shopping.
• Make bed- entire home.
• Clean kitchen and empty dishwasher-daily.
• Clean interior windows and mirrors: bi-monthly.
• Clean, dust and vacuum entire house: bi-monthly.
• Clean Family’s laundry-weekly.
• Run errands – dry-cleaning, bank deposit, grocery store, etc. when necessary.

7. CPR and First Aid.

• Nanny agrees to complete an infant/child CPR and First Aid class prior to beginning employment or within ___ weeks of employment.
• If Nanny does not successfully complete CPR and First Aid class, Family may terminate Nanny without severance pay or notice.
• Family (will/will not) pay for approved CPR and First Aid class.

8. Personal Background Check.

• Nanny agrees to complete the official fingerprint process through British Columbia Police  Department.
• If the Personal Background Check indicates any record of criminal activity Family may terminate Nanny without severance pay or notice.
• Family will pay for fingerprint procedure and Personal Background Check fees.

9. Benefits.

• Holidays.
  Nanny shall receive the statutory holidays as paid vacation if nanny would otherwise be required to work on that day of the week.
• Sick Days.
  ___ days of paid sick leave will be allowed every year, accrued at the rate of  ___ hours per month.
• Vacation.
  ___ week(s) of paid vacation will be allowed every calendar year (check as applicable):
  • _______ To be coordinated with Family’s vacation
  • _______ After ____ months of employment
  • _______ Other

10. Evaluations.

Nanny’s job performance will be evaluated by Family at the end of the first month of employment and every ___ months thereafter.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, the parties agree that they have read and signed this Agreement as of the day and year written above.

FAMILY:                                                                     CAREGIVER:
____________________________________________________________________________________________

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“I was a single mother. I definitely need to work and I definitely needed childcare. After the baby was born, I had a month to relax and recover from my episiotomy. I didn’t even sit at my desk the entire month (because of the baby, not the episiotomy). But then I had to get some childcare help. I had to get back to work. I had a career; I had responsibilities. One time, the baby’s father looked after him while I ran to the office. But when I got home, I discovered that he was holding a business meeting instead of the baby. Clearly this was not a solution to my need for childcare!

Maybe there are more choices now, but I was on the leading edge of the childcare and maternal employment wave, and the pickin’s were pretty slim. My first “childcare” was a young student who came to my house several hours a week. Usually I ended up sending her to run errands for me, because the baby was always asleep when she arrived. It was helpful to have a personal shopper, but it wasn’t childcare. I started interviewing nannies – quite a few nannies. I finally found one that I liked. She had a young child herself and she seemed kind and knowledgeable. She sure seemed to know more about babies than I did. But when I called to offer her the job, I discovered that the rate that I thought was for the month was for the week! That woke me up in a hurry. I wasn’t going to be able to afford an in-home caregiver.
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I looked in the paper for women who watched children in their homes. There weren’t many in the neighborhood, and being in the neighborhood was important to me. Eventually, I found a woman who stayed home because she had a toddler herself, and she wanted to care for one more child to make a little extra money. I sounded promising; it was affordable and there was only one other child, so I was sure that my son would get plenty of attention. Within a month, though, this woman had taken in another child, and soon she said she was looking for another one. That wasn’t the direction I wanted to go, so I got on the childcare carousel again. I found another home with a woman who was staying home with her own toddler. This worked well . . . until she got pregnant and decided she wouldn’t do childcare anymore.

I was back to the now all-too-familiar task of interviewing care providers. My first choice – a wonderful woman with a background as a nursery school teacher – had changed her mind by the time I called to hire her. She was going to do something entirely different. I don’t remember what it was now – maybe making jewelry. So I went to my second choice – a young woman who had just graduated from college with a degree in animal science. I was her second choice too. She hadn’t be able to land a job at the zoo, so she thought that taking care of babies would be the next thing. She wasn’t ideal, but I needed someone right away, and she worked out okay, I guess. She was shy and quiet, and she didn’t talk to the baby as much as I would have liked. But she was careful and caring. She took my son to the park; she played with him in the yard. He was safe and seemed content.

At the end of the year, though, my job required me to move across the country. So back on the childcare carousel I went, before my son had even had his second birthday. This time, I went to the university and checked with a childcare expert. She recommended the childcare home where her son had gone. We tried it. It was clean and there were lots of toys. The care providers were very professional. But before the end of the year, I decided to look into nursery schools. My son was almost three, and I thought he would benefit from a more educational program. I was lucky to find a Montessori school and talk the director into accepting my son even though he wasn’t toilet trained. “Never mind”, she said, “he soon will be.” She was wrong about that (every day I picked up a little wet baggie when I picked up my son), but she was right to take him. He enjoyed it and thrived. But six months later, it was time to move again, and the childcare search recommenced. I found another Montessori school and I liked it. The director was intelligent; the teacher were fabulous – full of ideas and energy. Unfortunately, my son did not share my opinion. Every morning was a struggle to leave him inside the gate in tears. So once again, we moved to a new center. Although it was a longer drive, I had met the owner and liked her. She helped my son get integrated into the new class and watched out for him there. He was never really happy about going, but he tolerated it, and we stayed there until he started elementary school. At long last, after a dizzying five – year, eight – childcare – arrangements ride on the childcare carousel, I was able to jump off and move on.”

- Kathleen, age 60 (What We Know about Childcare- Alison Clarke-Stewart, Virginia D. Allhusen)

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Choosing child care is an important and sometimes hard decision. If you go back to work, it may mean the end of the special time with your child. For some parents it may feel good, since it means that you have time to do some things for yourself again. Whether you need child care for a very small number of hours or full-time (40 hours a week), spend the time needed to find the setting that is right for you and your child.

There are many child-care choices available. Some families have grandparents or other family to look after their children, while others have a babysitter or a nanny to come to their home. Some take their child to a family daycare provider who cares for a small group of children of different ages in their own home. And still others choose group child care at a centre.

Think about what it is that you are looking for or need.

Plan What Will Work for Your Family

• Do you need care full-time, part-time, or for only a few days a month?
• Can you get your child to daycare or does the caregiver need to come to you?
• Do you need care for the same days each week? Or will you need someone at short notice, or someone who can stay at night if necessary, or someone to care for your child on different days each week?
• How many hours of child care do you need each day? Think about travel time to and from daycare.
• Can you find child care close to your workplace?
• How much can you pay? (Find out about child care subsidies)

Plan What Will Work for Your Child

• Does your child like large groups, small groups or does he like one-to-one attention?
• Do you think he will be happy at home with one caregiver? Having brothers or sisters at home helps.
• Does you child like going out and having lots of things to do, or does he like quiet times the best?

Children can be happy in many different sorts of child-care settings.

(Toddler’s First Steps – A Best Chance Guide to Parenting Your Six-Month to Three-Year-Old)
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When families decide to have a nanny in their home, they think about what it means to have a new person on her own with their children. They think about the changes that will take place and how the kids will accept the stranger. In most cases, a nanny is not hired for a short term. Parents don’t like to change nannies and the nannies don’t like to change families. In many cases the children get attached to the nanny and she is considered a part of the family.
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If a family does not need a nanny on regular basis but only for a few hours sporadically, then a babysitter will be more appropriate then a nanny full-time. The question is where to look for a babysitter when your needs are for only a short period of time knowing that is not easy to have the same person babysitting whenever is required.

One should try as many ways as possible including friends’ and relatives’ referrals, newspapers and bulletin board advertisements and not in the least, domestic help agencies, especially those specialized in nannies. Although, a nanny or domestic help agency will ask you for a fee for finding a babysitter, the advantage is that the agency will do the screening process and if the babysitter is not available, the agency will provide a substitute for her.

Regardless of the screening done by the nanny agency, you should interview the baby-sitter at your home so you will have a better sense about the interaction with your kids and if they will feel comfortable with her at home.

Some questions to ask of potential babysitters:

1. How would you make sure that my child does not play with dangerous objects or swallow poisons?
2. Have you ever taken care of an injured child? What would you do if my child fell off a swing? How would you decide when to call an ambulance?
3. What would you do if there were an emergency in the house like a fire or a gas leak?
4. Do you plan to have children of your own? What do you like about children/
5. Have you ever taken care of your younger brothers or sisters? What do you dislike about children?
6. What would you do if my child complained that he was bored?
7. Tell me how you plan to spend the day (evening) while you are caring for my child?
8. If my child broke an expensive object in the house or refused to eat her dinner, what would you do?
9. What do you feel are your main duties as a babysitter?

The following are tips on choosing and orienting a babysitter:

• Choose babysitters who demonstrates knowledge of how to prevent injuries. They should have taken first aid training or a babysitting course that includes first aid. The Canadian Red Cross Society offers these types of courses.
• Orient a new babysitter to your home. Show the babysitter the first aid supplies, emergency telephone numbers, the escape plan in case of fire and how to control heat, stove, lights and fuse box.
• Be clear about activities and areas that are off limits to children.
• Leave the telephone number where you will be and the number of a neighbour who could be of assistance in an emergency.
• After the children are put to bed, the sitter should check each of them once an hour. Make it clear that the babysitter should not sleep.
• The babysitter should not be allowed to entertain friends. He or she is hired to do a job and should not be distracted.
• The telephone should not be used for personal calls. It is for emergency use only.
• The babysitter should know what the child is doing at all times.
• If possible, avoid asking babysitters to give medicine. If you must, give them careful instructions.
• Babysitters should not smoke. Smoking is a fire and health hazard. Smoke may cause or worsen children’s colds, flu, asthma and bronchitis.
• Babysitters should not be expected to do chores. Their concerns is for the safety of the child.
• Check out your babysitters thoroughly. Make unscheduled visits home until you are sure you can trust them.

Before you leave home give to your babysitters a written list of the chores needed for your child’s well being, instructions, everyday telephone numbers, phone numbers to be used in case of emergency.

Here is a sample information sheet you can leave with your babysitter:

INFORMATION FOR BABYSITTERS

Parents Names:________________________

The House Address:_____________________

The Phone Number of the House:___________

Mother’s Work Phone:____________________

Mother’s Mobile Phone:___________________

Father’s Work Phone:_____________________

Father’s Mobile Phone:____________________

Neighbour’s or Relative’s Name:______________

Neighbour’s or Relative’s Phone Number:______

Child’s Bedtime:__________________________

Mealtime Instructions:_____________________
________________________________________
________________________________________

Special Instructions:______________________
________________________________________
________________________________________
________________________________________

Fire:_________________________________911
Police:________________________________911
Ambulance:____________________________911
Poison Control Center:______________________

Doctor’s Name:____________________________

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Finding a Nanny For Your Family

by Andrea Taylor / BC Parent Magazine

Childcare is one of the most important decisions working parents have to make. If you have decided to hire a nanny, you may not be aware of your options for an in home caregiver. What are you looking for? You may want to sit down and make a list of all your requirements. Depending upon your children’s age, you may want to involve them in this part of the process.

Your options for finding a nanny are agencies, advertising in the newspaper or through a recommendation. Nanny agencies are numerous. Some will provide you with referrals and others will act as a screening service. Most will provide assistance with contractual agreements. They will let you know what your rights are and the rights of your employee. They will have done reference checks and conducted interviews; only sending those applicants they feel will be suitable to your family. The final decision does of course lie with you and you may go back to the agency if you are unhappy with the after a probationary period. Any professional service would provide you with all the information you require to make an informed decision.

The interview stage should involve you, your partner and your children. The first part of the interview is spent getting to know each applicant asking about their interests and experience. After an informal time you may want to ask what they would be doing with the children giving them scenarios to see how they would handle certain situations.

Parents may make an agreement that without them both being one hundred percent certain, they would not hire a person. If you have the time take it, because your nanny is the most important employee you would ever hire. Having a nanny, the right one for your children, can be a rewarding relationship for both your children and the nanny. This unique relationship is a partnership with you and your partner in raising your children.
Do you have more questions? Visit our Forum: CAREGIVERS in CANADA.

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This is an example of a self-introductory letter received from a German applicant for a nanny position. The main idea is to provide information about yourself, your environment and your family.
Do you have more questions? Visit our Forum: CAREGIVERS in CANADA.

Dear family,

My name is Andrea Schwarz and I was born in Frankfurt, Germany on February 2nd 1982. My mother is a housewife and my father is a carpenter. My parents have three children: me, the youngest child in the family, my sister Anna is 28 years old and my brother Nick is 30 years old.

I think I had a great childhood and one of the most important things for me working with children is that I haven’t forgotten how I felt like when I was a child.
My home town is small and quiet but for me is the best and favorite. I miss it when I’m far away and it’s a great pleasure for me to come back after trips to other places. On the other hand, I am a real fidget and I like traveling very much. In my childhood I dreamt of a world tour.

Later other priorities happened. My brother got married early. Now he has two sons already. My older nephew, Alexander, was born when I was 16. As soon as I took him in my arms I realized: the biggest happiness in the world are children. That’s why after school I entered the Pedagogical Institute and graduated from it successfully in 2005 having the profession of a teacher of English, German and German Literature.

All that time working at school as a teacher of English, and also at families as a nanny and a tutor, assured me that I hadn’t made a mistake in choosing my mission and upbringing of children was that very thing I’d like to engage in. I like to give my knowledge to children, to teach them to make difference between good and bad, not only to teach them new things but also to bring up a child as a person.

I don’t have my own children yet . My family consists of parents, brother, sister and two wonderful beloved nephews. I love them very much and I am not shy in expressing my love to them. I enjoy and appreciate every moment of my life, I am an optimist, I like being outdoors, walking and camping. At home I also can’t sit without doing something. I can knit and sew. My nephews admire the sweaters I knit for them-new ones every winter. As for my parents, they like very much the evenings when I arrange “mini concerts” ( I completed the music school and I play piano). They have favourite melodies and I play them with great pleasure. By the way, there is a cat named Mars in our family. It is a music lover and it has its own favourite melodies too!

I like very much to spend my time with friends. Often we all together go to the country, picnic, play voley-ball, play guitar. Such enjoyable week-ends stick in our memory for a long time! My friends consider me a cheerful, frank and kind person. Sometimes they call me a fidget because I like to be challenged and to explore new things. For example, I learned the Greek language, now I take Spanish courses and also I am going to get a driver’s license.

Therefore, my participation in this program gives me a possibility to achieve two goals. The first one – I’d be able to enrich the store of knowledge and experience. The second one – the main one – I’d like very much to be useful, to give my love to children and to make new friends. I hope my dreams will come true!

Sincerely yours,

Andrea Schwartz

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A part-time nanny is required when parents need help with the care of the children for less than 40 hours a week. For example, care for the children before or after school, or when a parent is working from home and a nanny is needed to watch the children only for a few hours a day. Even for a stay at home mom, a part-time nanny is ideal when she needs time for herself to run errands or go to the gym, to mention just a few. In general, a part-time nanny hourly salary is higher than the full time one. Consider the following:

1. The cost and the time consuming transportation to and from the employer’s home is the same for either case. However, the ratio between time consumed and daily income is much less favorable for the part time nanny.
2. Job security is at a lower level for part-timers as conditions may change more often
3. More flexibility is required to meet the employer’s changing schedule.

Because of these and other factors, it is considered a lot harder to find a suitable part-time nanny.

Do you have more questions? Visit our Forum: CAREGIVERS in CANADA.

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If you are looking for a nanny job, PARAGON Personnel Ltd. can assist you in your job search as we specialize in placing nannies with families all over BC.

Contact us at 604-298-6633 so we can find out some information about you – your background, current and previous childcare experience. Please specify if you are looking for a Live-in position or Live-out – Full Time, Part Time or Temporary.

You will be asked to come for a personal interview at our office. Please bring your resume and reference letters from your previous employers. If you are not a Canadian citizen, you are also required to bring your passport for identification and verification of your legal status in Canada.

PARAGON Personnel Ltd. will conduct a background screening to check your employment history.
When completed, we will arrange for interviews with our clients. During your interview, it is important to ask your prospective employer about your duties, responsibilities, work schedule and salary offered. You may also discuss issues like overtime compensation, medical insurance and/or any other relevant information regarding the position.
Do you have more questions? Visit our Forum: CAREGIVERS in CANADA.

Once all issues are discussed and agreed upon, we will provide a contract of employment for both sides to sign and keep one copy of the signed document. If you are under the Live-In Caregiver Program, we will initiate all procedures required to obtain a new work permit for you through Human Resources and Immigration Canada.

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